Lesley (kinkybeaver) wrote in youshowgirl,
Lesley
kinkybeaver
youshowgirl

  • Mood:

x-posted

I got this in a chain letter... I love it! Way too funny.


Hello, my name is Flicka and my Owner's a clinic junky.

Yes, it's true. She went thru her mid life crisis and came to the sale barn
and bought me. She pets me and loves me, and in general I had a pretty good
life at first. Then she heard about those guys who whisper to horses. Life
has never been the same.

Fihe stick lrst there was Pat. At Pat's clinic Phyllis learned to twirl a big stick
and chase me around a round pen till I was ringing wet with sweat. Once I
had quote calmed down (I was never really fired up in the first place till
that guy came at me with tike an idiot) she began learning to
ride me with no bridle. Talk about giving an old spoiled horse an
opportunity to have some fun! Initially I went along with it. I'd lope
around the pen real nice like, and everyone would oooh and cooo over my
natural horse abilities. Then, just when everyone had gathered around to
watch, I would see the SCARIEST!! (tehehehe) Shadow in the history of scary
shadows and switch directions and take off with my rider clinging terrified
to my back. Every other horse on the place was envious of me because their
owners would take them out back and beat them with that overpriced stick
when no one was watching, but I knew my Phyllis would not. Eventually
Philly (as I like to call her) gave up on the stick.

Off we went in search of another guru. In our search we found Monty. He
threw a string at a horse and talked to the horse with winks and stares. I
spent some time with his clinic horses. I saw the demonstration where an
unbroken 2 year old became an overnight Reiner. Later I talked to the 2
year old. He was actually 5 and had been doing this same routine for about
5 clinics now. The first time Phyllis broke out the string I again, went
along with it. Well, until she got tired of me stopping and looking at her
like she was stupid. When she went to get herself a glass of water and
refer to that chapter in Monty's book I grabbed the string and chewed it to
pieces.

Then there was the Indian fella with a name I can't pronounce. To get the
full effect of his clinic Philly painted stuff on my body and put feathers
in my hair. I looked like I was in a Costume class, but hey whatever floats
your boat. I thought maybe at least with this guy we might get to play
Indian pony games and have mock battles or something but no. More round pen
work and gimmicks. This time there was a fire in the middle of the round
pen and they danced around it while praying that I would become a good
horse and always mind my owner. He only took her for a couple thousand
pelts and a bottle of firewater.

I can't complain though, I've got an owner who loves me and has devoted her
time to trying to make me a better horse. I really should behave, really I
should, but I think I am contributing to her youth by giving her a reason
to take me to all these clinics. Maybe the next clinic will involve turning
me out with the mustangs so I find my inner wild stallion.

Sincerely, Flicka
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic
  • 0 comments